What Makes A Good Relationship Great?
What makes a good relationship great? In this short article, you will learn about one of the most important skills you can have in any relationship. It is the key to all relationship success.
And be sure to read to the end and get your free gift.
When you understand this skill and can consistently do it, you will be rewarded with consistently good relationships which translate into better health, more joy, new opportunities that show up because people are attracted to you, and a better understanding of your intimate partner.
What could be more important than understanding your partner? Think about how they will feel if they feel you understand their fears and frustrations and critical wants and desires in life.
I have a feeling you will be happy beyond your imagination.
Let’s get started.
What is being “present”…and what’s it have to do with great relationships?
In the ideal world, we want our attention to be fully present with whatever we are doing. When we dilute our attention with other thoughts, we have split focus and others can sense we are not present or available for them.
They may keep on talking, but part of them feels disappointed and will eventually migrate towards distancing behaviors. Believe it or not, this is an unconscious process. Ever had anyone say to you, “I think such-and-such is ________ and after thinking about it for a minute you agreed with them?
We will often listen to someone without realizing that we have experiences out of our immediate awareness. When someone points it out, it’s much easier to see it.
Let’s look at an example.
Have you ever been in the middle of trying to solve a problem and someone comes up and says something to you, and you heard them talking but you weren’t tracking what they said, and when you realized this you asked them to repeat themselves?
Much of the time we are doing smaller versions of this and don’t realize it.
Others often see it and feel it when around us but much of the time we can’t see it ourselves. The experience can include thoughts from the past that occupy our minds or things related to the present.
Three Common Areas to Watch For
If you are still stuck in fears or issues from the past, get help to clear that up. You’ll be more present.
If you are overwhelmed with things in the present, then maybe consider the impact it has on attracting your ideal partner or the impact it has on your current relationship. Again, get help. Clear it up. And you’ll be more present.
A final one I’ll mention is your ability to listen without interrupting. Most of the time people listen with filters. For example, they might be comparing what the person is talking about to their life. Or they may be judging the person because this person reminds them of someone from their past.
The important thing to remember is you have probably repeated these patterns so often you don’t recognize you are even doing it or that there may be a different way that leads to a better outcome.
Many practices that can help you with your awareness about developing better communication skills and I will cover that in future tips.
Think for a moment what you may be preoccupied with (hint: things that get you riled up) and what you could do to “complete” the emotional charge it has on you.
If you want to attract the partner of your dreams or take your current relationship to the next level, be present with people on a daily basis. By practicing presencing skills, you will send them the message you are emotionally available.
Clean up the past by getting help from a coach or therapists to let go of emotional challenges you had in the past that is still affecting you.
Clean up the present by improving your work-life balance skills and separating your work life from your social life.
If you are up for it I want to give you some homework:
Take the challenge to write down what is occupying your mind during the day. What do you think about all the time? What is current and what is maybe related to a belief or obsession from the past that is no longer serving your best interest.
Ask yourself what can I do to let that go? What do you have to face and accept to feel complete with it? Then take action and notice how you feel.
If you are preoccupied with the present, what can you do to have more balance or to disconnect from work so when you are with others, you are truly there emotionally and mentally?
A second exercise is to watch how you listen to someone during the next conversation you have. Do you listen to fix? To compare? To judge? To find a similar experience with your past?
For more information, consider participating in the 5-week Quickstart audio program for attracting the ideal partner – it’s FREE for a while so give me feedback and tell me what you like about it.
Now do me a favor please post comments below so I can see if what I’m saying is communicated clearly.
My goal is to give you a head-start on attracting your dream partnership or taking your relationship to the next level.
Then let me know what other topics interest you.
That’s all for today.
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